Like a Good Neighbor...

What ever happened to the ancient ritual of knowing your neighbors? It seems to me that now-a-days the only contact people living in the same area have with one another is through an arbitrator for the homeowner's association when a conflict comes up between these strangers living next to each other.

Growing up, I knew everyone that lived around my parents' house and the kids around my age would spend all day outside running from one house to another and playing in one yard or another. The house you were at around 1 o'clock was where you ate lunch. I'd bring home the weed wacker Mr. Waldorf borrowed from my father and then return the sewing kit my mother had borrowed from Mrs. Aldridge. Our mothers would gossip with each other at the bus stop (which was at the end of the street, as we didn't get picked up at our individual house's) and our fathers would talk shop over droning lawn mowers.

It might be that I haven't noticed that still happens because I've been changing addresses (or cities) almost yearly since graduating college or that people don't have time to get to know the people that live adjacent to them because more homes have two members working full-time but it seems to me that good neighbors are a dying breed.

But then again, what is a good neighbor? Maybe a good neighbor is someone who allows you to live as privately or sociably as you wish. How do you, yourself, be a good neighbor to those around you?

First; meet them. You don't have to come over with a pie or casserole when someone moves into the neighborhood or go door to door saying hello whenever you change addresses. It can be as simple as introducing yourself while grabbing the mail at the same time or meeting someone while walking the dog. Give a wave, nod, smile, anything to the people you see during your day outside your home.

Second; keep them informed. Contact them before making any changes that would affect them, such as hosting a big party around the holidays, putting up a fence, or cutting down a tree. This so rarely happens these days that it will probably squash any uncertain feelings they may have had about the project and gain you some respect in the process.

Third; be aware and understanding of your differences. Age, faith, ethnicity, or marital status can drastically affect lifestyles. You have to come to grips with the fact that not everyone lives like you and open dialogue about issues that come from these differences will probably alleviate any problems or complications. But also be aware of things you have in common. If you share a passion for gardening, biking/jogging, or you both have pets this could be something that could draw you closer.

Also, be candid and assume the best. People generally don't create problems intentionally. Therefore, feel free to discuss an issue that comes up with those around you. You can assume they are unaware that their actions are annoying you. And if you are approached by them, remain calm and congenial. You don't have to justify your behavior. If you refrain from acting defensive there is a greater possibility for resolution through communication.
Remember the golden rule; treat others as you would like to be treated and love thy neighbor as yourself.

By: David